I recently found myself in a situation where I just couldn’t click with a group of people. I’ve tried. I did my best to connect, listen, understand, communicate, inspire and much more. Nothing helped.
In my frustration I turned to my husband telling him how frustrating this is becoming. He wasn’t surprised. Here’s what he said: “They haven’t changed. You did.”
You see, I believe in personal growth. I seek improvement every day.
I face my challenges, do the work necessary and enjoy the benefits of creating a life I want.
Step by step, day in and day out.
I pay attention to situations and listen to feedback. I take time to understand and improve.
I change. A lot. And fast.
And somehow, working in my home office, inspiring people around the globe, I sometimes feel like everyone is the same. Working with my iAcademy group and private clients who are eager to learn, implement and improve, I get surprised meeting someone who are fine just passing by.
Reality is that 80% people don’t live intentional lives. These are the people who will make the same mistakes in their 50s as they made in their 20s. Their circumstances and challenges will be different, but their reactions, decisions and actions will be very similar.
I believe that this is NOT your case. Your willingness to read through heavy duty stuff like this article shows me that you care about your personal growth.
But we all have people around us who live differently, making us wonder why there’s such a gap between us.
Let me share with you couple lessons I’ve learned that help me to feel confident in my own skin as I continue on my journey of personal growth.
1. You can’t help someone who doesn’t want help
Back when I started my nonprofit organization JONA in 2002 I was full of ideals. I wanted to help everybody. But I’ve realized pretty quickly that it’s impossible to help someone who doesn’t want help. Let me explain. You can give a homeless person a house, money, job, haircut, clothing and everything else, but you can’t make him go to work, save money, maintain the house or stay clean. A person you’re helping to needs to be motivated enough to make different decisions, break old habits and create a different life. You can’t help someone who doesn’t want help.
My first tip for you is this: Stop wasting your time and energy on people who don’t want your help. Find people who NEED what you have to offer and focus on them. Your talent or gift will be much more appreciated and will make a bigger difference.
2. Your potential is determined by those closest to you
Be careful about who you surround yourself with. It’s actually quite simple – people are either plus or minus. They will either add value to your life or they will destroy what you worked so hard to build. Surround yourself with people who add value to your life. Those who see potential in you and help you improve. You don’t need Negative Nelly’s in your life, if you’re like me, you already have enough negative thoughts in your own head. What you need is encouragement, motivation, support, partner for brainstorming, feedback, listening ear, trusted advisor and goofy pal for happy times. Be intentional in your relationship building.
Someone once said that if you’re the smartest person in the room, it’s time to find another room. Surround yourself with people who are further than you. If you’re 7, find someone who is 8 or 9 and will help you grow.
3. Be willing to let go
You can’t move on if you’re holding on to something in your past. You have to choose. Do you want to stay where you are or do you want better results, better relationships and better life? Life is change and change is life. Get unstuck. Let go. Move on. Not because you don’t care, but because you want to go up. John C. Maxwell sums it up well in his Law of Sacrifice: “You must give up to go up.”
Personal growth has a cost assigned to it. You might have to give up your old thinking, old habits, you will need to invest some energy, maybe money, and sometimes you will need to say good-bye to certain people. There will be people in your life who won’t understand you and will stay behind or turn against you. It’s all part of a journey. Those who are 2 or 3 feel frightened by those who are 8 or 9.
The question is – Are you willing to pay the price or do you prefer to stay where you are?
Success will cost you. Are you willing to pay the price or do you prefer to remain stuck? Click To Tweet4. Be intentional
The above tips are to help you understand the do’s and don’ts of personal growth. This last point needs to show across all of them. Every day you need to choose to
- Spend time with those who need what you have to offer.
- Surround yourself with those who lift you up.
- Make tough decisions that will move you forward.
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